12% BEER
My template is fucked. My man is sweet.
  Damn. I think I just fucked up my diary template. Cursed Macromedia Dreamweaver. More like Macrocrapia Nightmareknitter. Yeah, that would be more like it.

Seriously. I've had that old template for a really long time. For over two years now. That's a really long time to keep something around that you can't touch, that you can't feel, that you can't smell. Unless you have a cleaning regiment for your computer monitor. Which I have.

You know what else I've had for a long time? Lipman.

That's right.

L to the I-P mother fuckin' M-A-N.

It will be three years since we ran into each other in a coffee shop and he bummed a smoke from me. Little did he know that when he lit my square, he lit my heart flame as well.

So on fire is my heart flame. It burns if you touch it. Don't use butter to soothe. Butter only makes it tastier and harder not to nibble on.

To celebrate our 3 years of putting up with each other's shit and remaining in love all at the sametime, we are going to Six Flags Over Texas! Rollercoasters! Poorly written theme park shows! Long lines! Fried food! Athlete's foot-riddled astroturph! Rollercoasters! Whoo hooo!

And now, a message from Lipman.

Hello. To all you ladeeleroy fans out there, I would like to share with you what i can about her that you don't know. For one thing she has incredibly cute eyes, they are sort of pixie like. Sharing a bed with her is like sharing with a large animal that delights in messing up all the sheets at its earliest opportunity and then sprawling all over them so you can't do anything about it. Endearing. She is GREAT about brushing her teeth. I don't often look on her side of the bed. Otherwise i get upset.
The last three years however have sailed by wonderfully, we are a boringly satisfied couple. I NEVER thought this would happen to me, ever to struggle upstream through life from one 3 month-long tempestouos relationship to the next; a problem child grown into a problem adult, (why is this not a common term?)
But Ladeeleroy has shown me true love, we are both very lucky to share such a fun, creative and peaceful life. But she has the lion's share of literary talent, so without further ado, i shall put her back on. Nice to meet you.

Damn. I thought he was going to write something nice. What a dick.


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