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A Phone Conversation With The Bro... One of Many
  Ring Ring.


Hey Pops.. how's it going? It's me.

Hey sweetie. How're you?

I'm pretty good. Just checking in. Had trouble finding the room because you guys got moved around.

Yeah, they're about to switch us into another room tomorrow.

Really? Oh, the operators at that hospital are going to really love me. I've become their new best friend. We just got finished catching up a couple of seconds ago.

Heh heh.

How is everything going? Everything going okay?

We had kind of a tough day today. He's got some naseua going on and his mouth and throat are hurting him.

Is it pretty bad?

He's uncomfortable. He's sitting up and we've been playing cards all day. Pretty boring stuff, but yeah, he was feeling naseaus, but that's part of it.

Poor guy. They giving him anything to help with the naseua?

Well, he's got about eight bags in him right now.


But he's just feeling pretty blah.

Well, I was just checking in to see how he's doing.

Here, why don't you talk to him?

Are you sure? Is he pretty drugged up?

Well, he might have some problems talking, here, I'll put the phone with him and see if he can talk.

He's not falling asleep or anything? I don't want to keep him awake..

*Sounds of phone shuffling and Pops saying "It's your Favorite Sister."*




Oh wow, you aren't falling asleep are you?


Well I just wanted to call and check in to see how're you're feeling. Dad said you had a pretty crappy day.


Naseaus and stuff?


Boo. That totally sucks. I'm so sorry guy. That blows.


Do I need to let you go? Do you need to sleep?


Um. I can't tell if that's a yes or a no.




Was that a positive MmMm or a negative MmMm? I can't tell.

Snorful. Sonrful. Mm.

Oh, was that a laugh? I really can't tell if you're falling asleep on the phone or if your laughing. Maybe this isn't Alex at all and I've been talking to the back of a pillow for the last minute or two.

Snorful snorful snorful Snorful.

Oh, that's a laugh. I can tell now. That's really a relief. I didn't know if I should try to whisper really loud for Dad in case he forgot that he put the phone next to you and hadn't noticed that you'd fallen asleep.


Huh. Well, this is going to be hard having a conversation with you isn't it?


You could totally just ignore me for the next couple of minutes, play cards and say "Mm" into the phone at regular incriments and I wouldn't be the wiser.


Don't do that, okay? It would really hurt my feelings.

Snorful. MmMmmm.

This puts the pressure on me. Well, I'll just talk and you can just grunt. If you want me to shut up, just press the number 4 with your tongue or a stick in your mouth or something... okay?

Snorful. Snorful. Snorful. MmMmmmMm.

Um. Let's see what did I do at work today? Nothing cool. That would be boring. Um. Hey, let's take a tour of the patio, okay? You haven't seen the patio and I'll give you an aural tour, okay?


Was that you trying to press the number 4?


Okay, phew. Well, here we are on the porch. *sound of lighter* Let me just light these torches here. Oh, better power up the hot tub, too. Get it nice and hot. *horrible bubble sounds* Oh, pardon me Alex, just a moment... Jeeves! Jeeves! Poor me a Soda with Small Lime Rime on the rim, would you darling? Thank you. I'm sorry Alex, I'm back. Jeeves sometimes fucks up making my soda the way I like it.


Let me just rack up the outside pool table here. Oh, blasted. I've lost all the balls. Now I'll not be able to prove to you that I have an outdoor pool table. You'll just have to trust me. You can ask me a question so I can prove it to you...


The chalk is colored blue. There. Now you believe me.


I'm sorry Alex. I shouldn't lie to you. I. Don't. Really have a hot tub. And I fired Jeeves yesterday for being so inadequate. You just can't find good help these days.


Okay. This has gotten boring. Let's go inside. I'm getting bitten by mossies.


Oh, there's our fish tank. We had to put the littler one back up because in the big one I had these two goldfish and a minnow. And the minnow kept trying to eat the goldfishes' poop while they were actually crapping. It would really freak the goldfish out and they'd swim into the side of the tank and stuff. Just totaly freak out. The other day, we were watching the minnow and it was totally pecking at Genevieve's ass and she did not like that at all. I wouldn't either. I mean, if I'm trying to take a poo, I wouldn't want anything trying to peck at my ass either. It would be embarassing.


So we had to stick the minnow in fish jail... the smaller tank.


I feel like I should paint stripes on the side of the tank so he can feel like he's really being punished.


Maybe feed him bread crumbs instead of flakes.


I wouldn't have to give him any water, because he's already got enough.

Snorful. Mm.

That last one was pretty corny. I apologize. Man, that was so corny...

Snorful. Mm Mmm Mm.

You think I should write it down?

Snorful. MmMm.

Okay. I won't.


I feel like we're playing that game "Twenty Questions" except you've got a really hard person and I can't guess who it is.

Snorful. Mm.

Is it a male?



Snorful. Mm.

Okay. Okay. He was in a movie?



Snorful. MmmMm.

This game is hard. You win.


Are you having fun with Dad?




That's cool. I read that you were playing alot of cards? Are you winning all of Dad's money playing poker?


Well you should. Now's the time to do it, when he thinks that you're drugged up and feels sorry for you.

Snorful. Snorful. Snorful.

Don't play strip poker because that will freak the nurses out. "Mr. Alex! Put your paper clothes back on at once!"

Snorful. Mm. Mmmmmmm. (Fake yelp sound as if being caught naked by nurses.) Snorful Snorful.

Heh heh heh. Yeah. That would be funny. You should do it.


Yeah, I wouldn't want to see Dad naked either.

Snorful snorful snorful.


I miss you kiddo.

M Mmm Mm Mmmmmmm.

Aw. Good. Has Doobird called you today?


Does this mean that she's four calls ahead of me now on the "Favorite Sister" list?


Dammit. That's not fair. She's got a cell phone. I don't even own a cordless phone at home. I have to untangle it's cord when I call you. But it's fun to chew on while I talk to you.

Snorful. Mm.

Well, she'll fall behind soon. My conversations are much better than hers, right?


That should count for something.

Mm Mmm.

Okay. Whatever. That's cool. It's not a competition as long as you and I both know that I'm the Favorite Sister.


I'm gonna let you go now so you can do all that stuff you need to do. I miss you!

Mm Mmm M Mmmm.

Sleep well okay?

Mm Mmm.

Here's a kiss through the phone lines. Smoooooooooooooooooooooooooooch.


Oh. Sorry about that chap stick. It's cherry. I put too much on because I like to eat it off my lips when I'm hungry.


I love you, kiddo.

M Mmmm M Mmm.

Sleep well. Lemme talk to Dad.

Mm Mm.

*Phone Shuffle*


Hey Pops.

What were you reading him, a joke book?

No, I think I was boring him by just rambling about my day. I actually thought he was probably watching TV this entire time.

No, he's been smiling and laughing for the last 15 minutes you were talking to him. It's the most active I've seen him today.


You lifted some spirits here.

Well, cool. That's what I'm here for.

He just got tickled pink talking to you.

That's good to hear. Thanks for telling me Dad. How're you doing, are you doing okay?

I'm doing all right. The nurses come in alot. They come in 15 minute shifts it seems like. Very routine. Did I tell you that we're moving to another room tomorrow? I'll give you the number when we get there.

Cool. Are you doing okay?

I'm doing okay. Just kind of getting used to being here. It's been a week since I got here. Just flew by, really. Sharon and I've been taking 24 hour shifts. It's my shift right now.


But, yeah, his levels are doing all the things they're supposed to be doing and the doctors say that being bored is a good thing, so yeah. Just going with the flow.... how are you doing sweetie? Are you doing all right?

I'm doing okay, Pops. I just know right now is crunch time and I'm just a little worried, like one is supposed to be at this point.

Yeah. I tell ya, being here is much easier than being away.

I'll be up there soon. In August, I'm pretty sure.

He'll love that. You talking to him just now has just really made his day. It's like he gained some energy from that. Best I've seen him all day.

Some drug probably just kicked in. That, or it's gas.

Maybe that's it. Well doll, I'll let you go.

You tired? You going to sleep?

Nah, we have to do all this preparation stuff before he goes to sleep. Mouth treatments, shower, all that.

Ah. Cool. Okay. I'll let you go. I love you Dad.

I love you, too, babe. You really lifted spirits over here.

That's what I'm here for. Talk to you tomorrow.

Okay. Bye now.

Bye now.


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