12% BEER
My Creative Brain Left Me With 4 Hungry Children To Feed
  In the last 20 minutes, I've written six different introductions to an entry. Each entry introduction was different.

All sucked.

The last I heard from my creative side was about 10 days ago when it told me that it was going to go to the store to buy some smokes and a gallon of milk.

I haven't seen it since.

As much as I'd like to be happy about the crative side of my brain going out on its own little adventure, I can't help but feel like it didn't even consider how this would effect me. Sure, it's out and about probably throwin berets in the air ala Funny Girl. Meanwhile, I'm sitting wondering who the fuck stole my fucking beret.

Me: Where's my beret?
Creative Side Of The Brain: Look at me! I'm all Creative and I have a beret. Toss toss toss.

The pain of my creative side abandoning me like this left me cold and emtpy at first. Now, it's only a dull ache that seems to rear it's apathetic head when I read The Onion. Something witty and ironic will catch my eye.. and I have a nostalgic moment where I say to myself, "Before the creative side of my brain left, I was able to write things that were funny and strange and a bit creative. Now all I can do that is somewhat creative is ... is..... is...."

And that's when I start to cry because the first few things that come to mind are "polish my glasses," "play with this piece of string," "wear colorful shirts," "think about mooncheese"..

Sometimes this happens to me. You'll recall that last year I went through a similar type of drought and actually took about three weeks off from writing.

Back then, I told you guys it was because I was overwhelmed by the WTC and the verdict of "Ass" being delivered on the Ace of Bass/Ass case.

Now I only know it was because my creative brain went out to buy a pack of smokes and some milk.

I only want it to come home. That's all.

On another note, someone has a crush on me.

My printer totally thinks I'm a hottie. Why else would it print out hearts randomly whenever it feels? Oh, HP842c. You are so romantic.

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Copyright 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004 L.Leroy