12% BEER
I'll Be Getting All Anime on Your Ass
  I just spent the last 5 hours doing dubbing for a anime movie about a robot that fights crime.

And it fucking rocked.

My character, this Japanese woman who's in charge of the annual Snow Festival in Sopporo also happens to have an inside connection with the science research institute on grain production. Apparently, there's some way that you can freeze the soil and warm it and grain grows.

I dunno, I didn't understand it. I got the snow festival story line, but I still have no idea what it has to do with grain production. Anime is wah-kay.

Anyway- my character, Arisa, had this past relationship with the main pilot of the crime fighting robot, Aoyama... but he left her about three years ago in Tokyo to go fight. ("He flies in the butt part of the robot," the producer said, "I think that she may have some doubts about his heterosexuality- so see if you can do something with that." I love producers.)

And Arisa hates that Aoyama "fights until he is scared he'll get hurt, and then runs away." My character is the ultimate smarmy biotch. She's this hot Japanese woman with a beauty mark and purses her lips and narrows her eyes when she says things like, "But why do you fight so much, Aoyama.. oh, wait- I forgot- "Cause it's your job." Smirk smirk. Pan to Aoyama who winces with my every beat of my character's razor-like tongue.

So I did the dubbing for two episodes. It's the firt time that I've done voice overs for animation. I've done them before for films and stuff, but that's a different ball game, because for this anime, you have to count how many times the mouth flaps.

The mouths flap alot.

It's hard.

The hardest part is when the script says something like, "Arisa Reacts" and you watch the film and you listen to the Japanese version of the dialogue and the reaction is something like..


And the face does this:


Being a well-trained actor (ahem) I want to express all the emotion that my character is having, because, dammitall, there's a fucking flying robot with my lover driving its ass fighting a large nature-made robot that consists of ice and sharp pointy arm things.

My natural reaction is to say something along the lines of:

"Oh Shhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiit."

But remember, the anime only does this:


So, to convey all the emotion, I have to put all the emotion of "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Shiiiiiiiiiiiiitttt" into a simple, mili-second reaction that fits with


That's when all my training comes into play and I deliver the line thusly:


But this is a heavily loaded "oh." It's one of those "oh's" that tells the viewer that my character is frightened, anxious, yet concerned about her former lover's safety, as well as the safety of those around her in combination with the success of the annual Sopporo Snow Festival.

Yeah, dude. I'm that good. Hold your applause til the end, please.

And I'm loving every second of doing this. Why? Because I know that there are going to be a couple dozen anime fanatics out there that are totally going to jack-off to my character.

Because, dammit, she's hot. And she talks like me. And she's the queen of sarcasm.

"Aoyama doesn't care about himself? Well, he must have had a lobotomy in the time we've been apart." Smirk smirk, eye brow cock eye brow cock.

Yeah, that's going to be a tube-sock wiping-off moment.

It's true.

So, if you are one of those types that enjoy watching anime and actually rent DVDs and the like, contact me and I'll tell you the title of the movie and which episodes to get. I'll also send you a coupon for a free bag of tube socks, because you'll need them.

Ahhhhhhh. Yeah.

Get All Notified:

I know you were here.
Copyright 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004 L.Leroy