12% BEER
Our Government Should Run On Mayonnaise.

I owe the government $733.00.

What I can't understand is why the government sent me a check for $320.00 back in August if it was expecting me to pay $733.00 now.

That's like me buying an entire jar of Mayonnaise, making a giant sandwich with 3/4 of the jar, eating it and then waiting 8 months later to eat the remaining 1/4 that's left behind. Yet, the kick is that the jar of Mayonnaise was left open for that 8 months- but part of the deal of buying this giant jar of Mayonnaise is that I would eat it all, or else go to jail for avoiding Mayonnaise eating.

So my options are to:

A) Eat the remaining 1/4 of rancid Mayonnaise.

B) Not eat the remaining jar of Mayonnaise, but risk the possibility of being thrown into Non-Mayonnaise eating jail for a very long time.

C) Work out a monthly Mayonnaise eating plan with the people that command me to eat Mayonnaise until the remaining 1/4 is completely and totally gone.

I am choosing C).

And from here on out, I will only use mustard as my main condiment.

Perhaps even dabble in some Horseradish. Who knows? I'll go Condiment Commie Crazy!

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Copyright 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004 L.Leroy