Dear Bastard Who Thought Day Light Saving Time Would Be A Good Idea:
You damn jerk.
Who the hell do you think you are? Who gave you the right to take away an hour of my sleep? What kind of ego do you have?
"I'll show that tricky sun to revolve around the earth on whatever path it chooses! For I am THE BASTARD WHO CAME UP WITH DAY LIGHT SAVING TIME!"
Oh, yeah yeah yeah. I get the hour back in October, but I want it NOW.
What sense does this make? I remember being taught in school that this concept was formed for trains or wheat harvesting or because of a boll weavel infestation. I dunno. It was something that old people had to deal with because they didn't have Timex watches or clean socks.
But this is 2002. Humans are quite capable of being able to handle the sun going down earlier or coming up later or whatever the hell the sun does in the summer. We are adaptable. We'll take medication if our minds are too fragile to handle the concept that we don't control the sun. It's something that we should all just deal with.
Get over yourself, human race. There's bigger things out there besides you. The planet Saturn, for example.
The human race made it through 1000s and 1000s of years without Day Light Saving time. Cavemen didn't make a new sun dial twice a year. They got better things to do, like hunt buffalo or figure out who is smelling like dinasour ass.
I've got better things to do as well. Like sleeping in an extra hour and not being at work at 7:30 in the morning but pretending that it's really 8:30.
You've made an entire country follow your little imaginary game for too long. I, for one, will not stand it.
And, since, in MY world it's really 5:00, I am going home.
All of you people that think that it's really 4:00 in the PM can just keep having your fake tea party with Mr. Bunny and Sir Piggleton. Drink up the Tang in your Dixie Cups. Eat your Nilla' Wafers... cause the sun's going to be going down pretty soon and oh! my! God! it might not be when you want it to be.
So, Mr. Bastard Who Came Up With Day Light Saving Time, I hope you're real happy with yourself. I hope that you're sitting in your grave or jar or ice freezer with a big fucking smile plastered on your face, because you've got the majority on your side, Mister.
But you ain't got me.
Person Who Sleeps
Day Light Savings Time Victim
PS. You're an Asshole
I was just alerted by a keen eye that Day Light Saving(no 's') Time was created in 1986 and not in 1882 as I had somehow concluded in my brain. 1986? Wasn't that the year that the highest amount of cocaine was snorted? No wonder. Some asshole needed more up time to get more lines shoved in his nose. Cursed cocaine! Not only do you destroy lives! You fuck up innocent bystander's sleep patterns as well! Will it ever stop? WILL YOU EVER STOP COCAINE?!?!?