12% BEER
My Pores Are Revolting.
  I admit it.

I don't wear make-up. I don't. I don't really enjoy putting it on. I don't really exactly KNOW how to use it. Eye liners frighten me as you should never put something containing pigments and what not around the outer lining of your eye hole. I am not really sure what purpose lip gloss serves. I know that when I was little I once ate my Mom's Mary Kay lip gloss. My shits that day were all very shiny and well, easy. Blush, yeah. I know what that does. I also know that mascare' is made out of 'guano' (thanks Anat).. which is a fancy way of saying "Bat Shit." I dunno. I don't see the appeal...

That is, until my facial pores decide to have a clog-in:

Sally Field Pore: My fellow facial pores! We must come together and show the owner of this face that we will not stand for this treatment!

Facial Pore Union Members: Yeah!

Sally Field Pore: We must unite! We must fight! We must demand that we want Vitamin E treatments on a weekly basis!

Facial Pore Union Memebers: Vitamin E Is For Me! Vitamin E Is For Me!

Sally Field Pore: We will not stand for the continued abuse of not being properly exfoliated and cleaned on a daily basis!

Facial Pore Union Members: We Ain't Got Hate- Just Exfoliate! Exfoliate! Exfoliate!

Sally Field Pore: We will erupt in anger if you decide to rub us against other faces that contain stubble!

Facial Pore Union Members: If You Want Trouble, Rub Us Against Stubble!

Sally Field Pore: We want a diet that is consistant! No to Whattaburger! No to Taco Bell! No to Corporate American Fast Food Chains!

Facial Pore Union Members: That's Too Much To Rhyme With But We Agree With What She Is Saying! Anger! Anger! Anger!

Sally Field Pore: And if our demands are not met we will rise up in patches of dry skin! We will clog with particles and cause blemishes! We will crack and spew with every facial expression you make! You will fall and realize that your powers cannot be matched with our faith in what is Right and Good!

Facial Pore Union Members: Huzzah! Clog-in! Clog-In! Clog-In!

And now I am challenged with the fact that I have dry skin. An outbreak of 24-year-old looking acne. A patch of wretchedness below my nostrils. And my lips have caught on that this entire revolt thing might actually get them some Blistex. So they're in the process of negotiations.

Upper Lip: We should just demand that we just want some Blistex or we'll get chappy and crappy.

Bottom Lip: I want pudding.

Upper Lip: Stupid bottom lip.

Bottom Lip: LIPIST!

Luckily they don't really have much of a following, so I can ignore them for a while.

In the meantime I'll just use my crafty creative resources so that no one will know that I am in the midst of negotiations with the Facial Pore Union.

Take that you fascist facial pores!

********************************** On another note. I want to give you guys a heads-up. I'm going to be participating in Diaryland Survivor 3. Apparently this is a cool thing, as I was not aware since I filled out the application about three months ago and forgot about it. But- nonetheless, I'm thinking that it could be a fun? thing to do.. anyway. Go look at the other Diaryland Survivor contestant journals. It's not a bad combination. So, just to let you know, if I all of a sudden have some entries that are a little more, well, um, focused... that's why. Okay. End of Alert. Take care, dear reader. **************************************

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Copyright 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004 L.Leroy