Sometimes, I wonder why I exist. I mean, what if the only reason I'm on this surface of earth is because I once picked up a shard of glass that would- sometime in the future- have gotten lodged in the tender foot of the next Buddah?
And since I've already done that, does that mean that the rest of all of this 'life' is just to pass time? And sometimes I step back and I look at what I'm doing to pass the time with and I wonder if it's really the right thing to do.
What if I somehow messed up fate's design and was actually supposed to be working in a Chicken tendon factory?
What if I was supposed to die in some freakish toothbrush accident, but forgot to actually brush my teeth that day?
Maybe this is morbid- but sometimes I wonder how Diaryland reader types would know that I died.. I mean, yeah, you guys would figure that something was up if I didn't post something for like, 36 days.. maybe 37, but then you might just assume that I just wasn't into Diaryland at all... when, in fact, I had passed away with a Reach tootbrush shoved into my sinuses.
And lately, I've just been feeling out of it. Do you guys go through that sometimes? Like, you're just kind of going through the motions of life, and before you know it, three weeks have passed and you still haven't paid your car insurance because that just wasn't one of the motions.
When I look at things around my office, they're in focus, but it's in this weird kind of virtual reality type of focus.
I think I'm really tired. I think that my brain is just incredibly worn out right now. I don't have a creative bit of energy in my body. For the next couple of days, I'm going to have to fake enjoying myself.
Here's how I was going to fake being creative to you guys:
A) Write an Infomercial for a new product that allows the young and the young at heart to have shower sex safely as well as sanitarily.
B) Make a list of things I'd rather be doing instead of sitting inside my office.
C) Write a conversation between my ego and the director of the play I'm in right now. Sample:
Director: You need to bring in the energy you have in the second Act into the first Act.
Ego: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WHAT AM I DOING? I SUCK! I SUCK! I SUCK! WHY DID I EVER MAJOR IN THEATER? WHY AM I IN THIS PLAY? WHY DOES HE THINK THAT I CAN EVEN PULL THIS OFF?
Director: You understand what I mean?
D)Just kind of babble about something from my childhood... the ol' stand by.
So, I extend an apology to you, dear reader. I'm completely drained right now. When the show opens on Friday and I somehow remember how to be a human being again, more interesting things will be displayed here... But in the meantime... I leave you with this.
We'll check in to see how the progression of the mullet goes periodically. Take care, dear reader.