12% BEER

My poor car!

It's spewing coolant out of it's little leaky raditor hose!

I'm really embarrased by it because all of this steam leaks out of the hood of my car and from underneath the engine.

When I drive around it looks like my car is on fire. Part of me (the really fun part) wants to stick my head out of my window while I'm driving and scream, "Ahhhhhhhhhh! My car is on FIIIIRE! My car is on FIIIIIIRE! HALP ME! HAAAALP ME!"

But I can't help feeling really really embarassed about it. I try to always keep my car in motion so the steam blows away from the car instead of making this billowing forcefield around it. Yesterday morning, I was at a stop ligth, slowly inching my car forward as I rolled down the window to give a buck to a homeless guy. When I gave it to him he said, "Thank you, God Bless," and then said, "Miss, your car is really making quite a mess there."

"WELL AT LEAST I'M NOT HOMELESS!," I wanted to yell in shame, while grabbing my dollar back from his grubby pointing-out-embarassing-things hand.

Instead I said, "Yeah. Radiator hose has a leak. Need to get it checked out." And then quickly pulled away before the fumes from my car caused a homeless fatality.

Coming home from work yesterday, it just got bad. I mean, I couldn't see past the end of my hood and I was in downtown Austin traffic. Finally, I just pulled into a parking space, got out of my warm car into the icy cold wet rain and called Lipman to pick me up and take me to a rehearsal I had.

After the rehearsal, we got my car, drove it back to the apartment and I made plans to get it fixed.

Here's the part where I prove how incompetent my logic system is:

I drive the car to work this morning. The temprature gage is making itself at home in the "DANGER RED COLOR MEANS DANGER" zone of my dash. Steam is everywhere. I ignore the glances and dumbstruck expressions of cars that pass me by, as if steaming clouds were part of the 89 Honda Civic package I purchased. I pull into work, only four minutes late (which is really really early for me). A co-worker pulls up behind me and starts in with a


I quickly replied:

"I know I know I know. My radiator has a leak in it so it makes it look like my car is on fire everytime I drive it- but I'm going to get it fixed tomorrow, okay so just get off my ASS FOR THE LOVE OF JEBUS!"

She sort of stopped and said,

"Oh, I didn't even notice that. I was just going to let you know that your seatbelt is hanging out of your door there."

I opened the door and let my strangled seat belt back in.

Then the co-worker said,

"But you should really get that radiator hose thing checked out. That could be a problem."

I'm calling in sick tomorrow. And maybe, if I FEEL LIKE IT, I'll get my damn car fixed.

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