12% BEER
Passing Time Complaining About Flare Jeans
  Where the hell can a gal find a pair of jeans that don't have a damn flare bottom?

I spent the entire day today trying to find a pair of jeans because my ol' faithful pair of Levi's had to be shot after its leg ripped. I buried it next to its brother and a blue denim fern grew between them.

So off to the mall I went. It's been awhile since I've been to the mall here. Apparently, one has to dress up to go there. If not, your lucky prize is that you get to be stared at by 14-year-olds who are wearing glitter painted tiny-tees that say "NEW YORK OR BUST!" or have these air brushed paitings of horses on them. When did airbrushing become fashionable?

Nothing. Not Dillards. Not the JesusChristPenny's. Not even Old Navy. Every damn pair of pants had the name "Boot Cut" or "Modern Flare" or "Outward Tapered At The Ankle."

Completely lost was I.

I returned home. Dug up the Levi's that I had previously buried and stuck the denim fern in a vase of water.

Luckily, I was clued into the Gap! Men's jean collection. How could I have not realized? This was my salvation in high school, since there was o such thing as a 4 Long in women's.

Off to the Gap! I went. Looking at the racks upon racks of "Straight Leg Easy Fit Classic Ride Fuck Boot Cut" styled pants, I picked up a pair of 30X34s.. sached' into the dressing room.... and now, my dear readers. I have a pair of new jeans.

They have to last me exactly 46.35 years, because that's how much they cost me.

The ol' faithful pair of Levi's have now been reburied. The new pair of Gap!s are plastered to my fine ass... my dugout is fully loaded and ready to go.. my Polyphonic Spree tickets are in the back pocket... my friends are on their way to meeting me.... and soon, soon, dear readers, I will have a more inspirational entry to write because I am going to what shall be a fucking great concert at the Mercury.

Apologies about the crappiness of the entry. So it goes sometimes.

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Copyright 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004 L.Leroy