LADEELEROY

2004-08-30

GUESTBOOK
PROFILE
OLDER ENTRIES
E-MAIL ME
12% BEER
DIARYLAND
 
I'm Going to Act Like I Don't Even Care. Because I don't. (Because I do!!)
 
  Hey.

Hey.

Check it out.

Mother fucking word.

You know, I'm going to be somewhat honest. I have secretly always wanted to be one of those people that got to put that little .jpeg "Diarist.Net Finalist" thing on my page. Just at the bottom. To the left. Maybe to the right. Centered.... most likely centered on either the left or the right....so that people could scroll through looking for whatever Google phrase (ie, "fucking enjoyment," "goldfish at water surface," "burger sex," "nikki taylor asthma," "leroy's stinking ass" -- all hits that I get on a regular basis) and then be taken aback when they see that I, LadeeLeroy, was actually nominated for something.

Yes. Being a nominee is everything that you may have dreamed it would. I wish I could put it into words for you...

Special. Kinda. I feel kinda special. Not like a whole lot, but just enough to where I will be voting for myself.

And I am not ashamed to admit that. I will be voting for myself. Yes, the other writers are also very good. So good that I'm not going to list them here because I don't want you to go and read them and be like, "Wow. That is a damn funny entry. Fuck LadeeLeroy." And that is very petty of me and I'm not going to be a good sport about it-- because, dammit people. I've been writing this journal for a really really really long time, and I'll admit it, I want a damn award for it. Okay!? I've said it. There--- the fucking truth cat is out of the humble pie bag. I WANT TO WIN AN AWARD FOR MY GOD DAMN DIARY. I'M A BIG OL' BITCHY-AWARD-WANTING-WHORE. I'VE BEEN WRITING FOR FUCKING THREE YEARS PEOPLE. FUCKING GOD DAMN THREE YEARS. AND WHAT DO I HAVE TO SHOW FOR IT?- NOTHING.

NOTHING. NOTHING. NOTHING.

JUST AN ARCHIVE OF 270 ENTRIES THAT HAVE NEVER BEEN NOMINATED BEFORE. 270 ENTRIES JUST SITTING THERE WANTING TO BE RECOGNIZED WANTING TO BE--- I DUNNO. TO BE LOVED.

BUT COULD YOU GIVE THEM LOVE? No. No.

No you couldn't because maybe you didn't think they were funny or romantic or dramatic or accounting public events enough...

You make me sssssssssssick. Out of my sight. OUT!

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........ Um.

Listen... um. Yeah. (Exhale.) Uh. That wasn't cool of me to say all that to you. I- I- I mean, yeah. It's just crazy and I guess I'm feeling a little--- anxious.

You know how I get, baby. You know that that wasn't the real me. It was some other person. Some other person who obviously doesn't acknowledge all that you are; who is so materialistic that she wants to put a silly little .jpeg on her page over and over again; someone who knows that you'll make the right choice when voting-- the choice that comes from your heart- be it LADEELEROY or someotherpeople.

I apologize. I don't know what came over me. Not cool. Not cool in the least.



So not even cool.

 
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Mellowwwwnade
Copyright 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004 L.Leroy