LADEELEROY

2002-10-28

GUESTBOOK
PROFILE
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12% BEER
DIARYLAND
 
Lounge Limbo: No bar. No piano. No nothing.
 
  Limbo is like waiting in the lobby of a Motel 6. There's no magazines. There's no plants. It smells like egg salad and watered down Clorox.

And the chair you're sitting in is sort of uncomforatble, but you've figured out a way to make your spine curve into a 'S' shape so that the offending springs do not poke into your internal organs. The uncomfortable chair at least gives you something to sit on, as standing only leads to muscle cramps and conversation about why you're don't play basketball even if you are 6' tall.

I've been in this fucking metaphorical lounge for the last 5 days. I've counted the ceiling tiles, the stains on the carpet, had conversations with the janitor that passes through every once in awhile.

I've grown a bit bored of Lounge Limbo but I don't really know who to call to come pick me up and give me a ride home back to Bliss Town. I don't think there is anyone that I can call, as apparently a visit to Lounge Limbo is all part of the big picture I've involuntarily posed for.

Jack Daniels and I had a most wonderful encounter on Friday night. We partied until the wee morning hours the best way we knew how, considering that my ass was stuck in Limbo. But as Saturday afternoon approached, Jack was no where to be found and I smelled of stale Ruffles and Brie.

Sunday was spent in a haze of not being attached to anything and going through the motions. I can't even recall what happened on Wednesday and Thursday, as those seem so far away from the present. All I do remember is much crying and much sleeping. I know I wasn't at work because I wasn't able to even focus on anything for longer than 6 minutes without giving into a crying jag.

That's how I ended up in this metaphorical Lounge of Limbo. The rollercoaster ride I was on before suddenly expanded into an all out theme-park with attractions such as "Took a Turn for the Worst" and "Can't Breathe Without A Machine" and "Don't Know Why There's Blood In The Lungs" and "Sedated Coma" and "Listen to Your Father Cry On The Phone."

That theme park completely sucks. I don't recommend visiting it, even with the great admission prices they have going on right now.

So at the moment I'm just chilling here. I can't really say that I'm sad. I can guarantee that I'm just sort of numb to everything that's going on. When I get updates, I don't know how to handle them as they are sprinkled with so many opportunities to give into being Optimistic... but also have large chunks of Reality thrown in. Every conversation I have with the parental units I ask if it's to the point where I need to fly up there. The answer I get is that I just need to be ready to go if and when I do get "The Call."

The phone is my best friend and my enemy in Lounge Limbo. It connects me to what I want to be near, but also fills me in on what I least want to hear.

So that's where I am at the moment. Just kind of sitting and waiting and twiddling my thumbs. I distract myself as much as I can and I fake being in the present moment. I answer questions about my visit in Lounge Limbo with vagueness as getting into details only makes the person regret asking. I can say that all the well wishes and good thoughts that have been sent my way have made the wait here in Lounge Limbo much more tolerable. Apologies that I have yet to respond to each individually, they don't have any pens here.

Just a bunch of time.

 
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Mellowwwwnade
Copyright 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004 L.Leroy