It's a boob! A boob on my tube! Hide the children! Hide the children from the robot-nippled boob! It will kill us all!
This is horrendous! Who is to blame? Is Michael Jackson responsible? He can't just molest children in his own home... now he has to bring his perverted ways via his own sister to our air waves and molest all of America's littlest patriots at once! Our children are being molested in our own homes! OUR CHILDREN! OUR HOME! MOLLLLLLESTATION. BOOBIES.
MAYHEM! MAYHEM! MAYHEM!
An investigation must be made as quickly as possible! Call off the search for weapons of mass destruction and lets start searching for those that are responsible for bringing smut into our living rooms!
HORRIBLE HORRIBLE HORRIBLE!
Now we must explain to little Jonny and little Janie and little Hunter and little Maholeny what a breast is... this is not something we, as citizens of the great country of the United States are used to! Saying the word "breast" makes us love our country less, unless its in reference to a chicken and ranch is provided for dipping purposes only! SAVE THE BALD EAGLE!
DISDAIN! DISDAIN! PAINFUL, DEEP SET DISDAIN!
I'm saddened. Deeply, deeply saddened at what our nation has become.
In other news 250 people were trampled in Saudi Arabia and 67 died in Iraq.
STOP THE MADNESS! STOP THE ROBOT BOOS! STOP STOP STOP!