Yes. Sydney died. It wasn't a horrible death. It was the type of death that I think any goldfish would want. In a bubble curtain, surrounded by the gravel that loved him, Adelaide by his side, eating bits of poo from days of lore.
I think I cried. I don't really remember, actually. It was time for him to go. Alot of sitting around, not really swimming. Flakes were still an interest, but floating pointlessly seemed to take up the majority of his day. His peppiness had become less pep and more unpep.
He's in the freezer now.
Wrapped in a plastic grocery bag. Stuffed between the frozen spinach and the ice cube trays. Sometimes he'll fall out when I'm attempting to refill an ice tray. He'll fall to the ground and spin around a bit. A frozen eye stares out from behind the thin sheet of plastic.
It almost looks like he's swimming.
There's nothing wrong with having Sydney in the freezer. It's not like I cut off his head and froze it in hopes that some day future technology will be able to revive him and provide him with a robot fish body. That would be cool, though. It would have to be a waterproof robot body, but I'm sure future technology will realize this. I hope it does.
I didn't want to bury him because it's a rental house. We're not going to be here forever. The fish graveyard in the herb garden is a fine resting place for guppies and tetras and suicidal algae eaters. But it just doesn't seem right to bury Sydney there.
I want to have him mounted on a plaque. Stuffed and mounted with a small golden metal plate placed below with the inscription "Sydney, King of the Sea... and our hearts." My brother had his first bass mounted on a fine walnut plaque. I want Sydney to have the same sort of recognition. Immortality on a plaque. Immortality through death.
I want him to look like he's jumping from a spring, fins extended, mouth wide, eyes of polished glass.
I'm not a sick fuck, if that's what you're thinking. I'm not wanting to do it to be weird or different or funny. Okay, so maybe I do slightly want to be all of those things, but mostly I just want to have Sydney around in some form or fashion.
I won't hang it next to the other aquariums. That'd be awful for the other fish.
Or maybe I should.
Maybe they'll think that Sydney has risen from the grave. Maybe they'll feel that he died for their rotten fins. Maybe Adelaide will become some sort of lady fish saint and will inspire other fishes to take care of the less fortunate fishes. The ones that don't have an aquarium with gravel or filters or bubble curtains or owners that love them.
Bottom line: I wanted to let you guys know that I have him frozen in the freezer. It wouldn't be right for me to have all these entries about Sydney and then not let you know about his demise. That wouldn't be right.
It just wouldn't be right.
I feel better now.