Ah fucking crap! I just totally did something so incredibly stupid and accidental and so fucking funny that it's humilating.
I just accidentally sent an e-mail to my boss about how much I appreciated his love and support.
ON ACCIDENT. Not on purpose. Accident.
Holy shit I'm so embarrassed.
Let me explain the situation:
My friends are so damn wonderful. Read the last entry as a testimony. And they've been really incredible the last couple of days. Letting me stay in their house. Patting me and hugging and listening. They're just grand.
So I'm at home and I've got some time and I've had a couple of glasses of wine and a beer or so. Little tipsy. Feeling the love and the warmth of intoxication. And I decide to go to the computer and write some e-mails.
Yes. I know. What was I thinking? Computers and intoxication do not mix. Mistakes are made.
I'm writing this e-mail that is gushy and sweet and loving and just one of those e-mails that you cherish getting. One for the books.
Let me see if I can recall what was said. Oh, yes. This was it:
I'm sitting in Werz and Wakey's bedroom and I'm a little stoned. But nonetheless:
I just wanted to tell you how much I love you and appreciate you and your support and understanding. I'm so touched and humbled by kindness.
Truly touched and incredibly appeciative. I love you so much.
I'm going to sleep and drool on the couch now.
I love you and I thank you.
And I clicked Werz's e-mail address. And I clicked Wakey's e-mail address. And I clicked Neulander's address. Copied myself to save it to the archives.
And I press send.
Check the inbox. Read the message again to give myself a pat on the back and a "You've done it again, Leroy." Then thought about what it will be like when Werz and Wakey and Neulander open the e-mail tomorrow. Joy. I bet they feel complet jo-
That should be Newman.
NEULANDER! HOLY FUCK I JUST SENT THAT TO MY BOSS!
Oh shit. They're names are right next to each other in my address book and I just sent one of the most sappy e-mails I've written to my fucking boss! GOD DAMMIT! HOW FUCKING STUPID CAN I BE?
Knocked my head on the desk a couple of times. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Then I regained my thoughts.
Neulander's been pretty damn cool through the entire break up thing. Asks me how I'm doing. If I'm sleeping. Offering friendly supportive advice. He understands. He does. He's a cool guy.
But Jesus Christ. I did not want to send that e-mail to him. I didn't. I mean, he knows me well enough to laugh it off, but come on. That's damn embarassing.
So I send Neulander an e-mail:
I am so embarassed.
I intended to send an e-mail to my friend Newman, but accidentally sent it to you instead. Your names are right next to one another in my address book.
Sorry to expose you to my sappiness. A glimpse in the life. So it goes.
I wish I had put "See you in the office tomorrow, Leroy" but I didn't.
And that's what I just did. Fuck me I feel like an idiot. A dumb wonderfully sweet-hearted open idiot.
Jesus Christ on a cross.