Well, dear reader, there is no way to approach this entry than with an open heart and complete honesty.
Lipman and I have broken up.
After three and a half years a realization was made that, yes, the overall relationship was pretty good, but there were some things that were missing. Big things that were important to each of us. I won't go into detail, but a conversation was had and conclusions have been made and we are no longer a couple.
Close friends, yes. Lovers, no.
A bunch of crying. The last week has been a rollercoaster with hills built out of numbness, frustration, hope, reality and honesty.
Man, honesty can burn. It hurts to hear honesty and it hurts to be honest.
Seriously, how do you tell someone that, after 3 and a half years, that you'd rather be on your own? How do you say that without it hurting? How do you hear it without taking it personally? How do you approach that conversation?
Tip: Don't ask when the lease is up. Find another way that's a little bit more subtle.
Amazingly, we were able to have that conversation and be hurt, but allowed ourselves to be nurtured by one another as well. I do love Lipman. I do care about him. But this is the right thing. It is.
And I'm feeling a little relieved. Sad and relieved.
I knew something was up in the Universe. I knew it. I could feel it. On my skin, through my body, in my mind.
It's change. Change is good. Change is hard. Change is what keeps everything interesting and shiny. Change is scary.
Feel the fear and do it anyway.