LADEELEROY

2002-03-11

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A Strange Phone Conversation
 
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Voice: Hello?

Ladeeleroy: Hi, yes. I'm calling in reference to a house I saw for rent on Hampton Ave.

Voice: Joyce?

Ladeeleroy: No. I was driving by and I saw a sign that said-

Voice: Joyce.. you crazy bitch what're you doing?

Ladeeleroy: No, I'm not Joyce, I'm Ladee-

Voice: Yeah. Ha hahahaha. Guess what? Makenzie totally had to crash out here last night because she got so fucked up. I'm talking F to the mother fucking U. All over. I had to take Mark home because she passed out in the bathroom. In her own puke.

Ladeeleroy: Na-uhhhhh.

Voice: Totally. I told her she needed to take it easy, but she was all like, "Fuck you.. it's spring break and I'm gonna celebrate it right." And I was like, "Mak- you totally are getting shit faced- you got the entire week to get completely blitzed- right?"

Ladeeleroy: Phhhhhhhht.

Voice: I know, right? Come on! You have to be completely crazy to be all over that guy. After you left- which pissed me off something mighty, GF- I was stuck with the Megalosers and was trying to get Makenzie out of the fucking bathroom. She puked everywhere. I mean everywhere.

Ladeeleroy: Ew.

Voice: What did you say?

Ladeeleroy: Ew.

Voice: Yeah.... Ew. But yeah....you know......

An awkward silence.

Ladeeleroy: So. If the puke stains the hardwood floors that are thruout- will the actual monthly payment be up for negotiation? Because I'm not going to pay $725 a month for a place with puke-stained hard wood floors.

Voice: (muffled) Oh shit!

Click.

 
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Copyright 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004 L.Leroy