LADEELEROY

2001-10-17

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Another Fucking One Of Those Days
 
  Dammitalltohell.

You wake up an hour late, cursing yourself for not getting up when the alarm went off; knowing that you played your usual hit-the-snooze-button-8-times and then-just-decide-to-turn-the-entire-alarm-off-because-you're-surely-awake-now... but lets just lay down for 45 seconds more... zonk...game.

You finally do wake up, but you do not greet the lovely man laying next to you with loving "Good Morning, Honey" kisses, but rather shout "FUCK" in his ear and manage to smash his balls as you stumble out of bed...

You then get pissed at said lovely man when he gets pissed at you for being in such a rotten mood and taking it out on him....

You then revert to being immaturely defensive and bring up an argument that was clearly settled the night before- you two did stay up for fucking 3 hours trying to resolve it, hence the reason why you're so fucking tired and pissy now- but for some fucking odd reason your brain tells you this is the best way to handle an already crappy situation....

When showering with lover, you start to time how long they stay under the hot water. You then proceed to notice how they get to stand under the hot water longer than you do. You make a mental note of this to bring up in an argument later....

You stand in front of your bathroom mirror, you look at your naked body and realize that there are only a few good more years left before skin starts to sag, stretch marks start to appear, and nipples fall off from boredom...

You also notice two zits on face and blame lover man's 5 o' clock shadow for aggravating your sensitive skin. You make note of this to use in an argument later....

You get dressed. You look at outfit in combination with personal stature and realize that you could easily pass for a Gay British Boy.... A very gay British boy that only eats mayonnaise sandwiches and smokes Parliament 100s. Your sense of femininity drops about 23 points....

You make a bagel. You look at dishes in sink. You look at bugs that have created a party room in the LED display of your microwave. You spill water on counter and crotch area of pants now has a straight wet line across. You feel like your life is as fucking trashed as your kitchen.....

You get in car, letting lover man drive you to work as he borrows your car to run errands during the day. Lover man makes numerous driving mistakes on way to destination. You make note of each and every one to use in argument later....

You look at lover man....

You watch him take a drag of his cigarette...

You realize that you're being a complete and total bitch this morning...

You feel like a big pile of dried up hippo crap. The kind that has the white film on it..

You apologize to lover man for being in such a crappy mood and hurting his feelings and not being a little bit more receptive this morning.

You watch as lover man turns and looks at you and says, "Honey, I love you. Even when you're in your crappy moods. I understand completely."

You make note of this to use to stifle a self-induced argument later....

 
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Copyright 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004 L.Leroy